I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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