We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
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he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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