So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
