there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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