just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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