Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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