Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
