garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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