No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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