oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
