i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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