This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
