Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
