i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
