i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
