some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
