I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
