Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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