I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
