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the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
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