When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
what food is Colorado known for?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.