Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.

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  (816): I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery. http://tfl.nu/2bt2
  Replies (1) Good night (1039) Bad night (528)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.

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  (305): Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain. http://tfl.nu/9uzx
  Replies (30) Good night (3286) Bad night (570)
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  (925): View more from California

  dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning

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  (925): dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning http://tfl.nu/k939
  Replies (20) Good night (5521) Bad night (1025)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol

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  (303): it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol http://tfl.nu/7ss1
  Replies (1) Good night (3067) Bad night (845)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.

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  (404): It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated. http://tfl.nu/7ila
  Replies (6) Good night (2969) Bad night (682)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.

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  (713): I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me. http://tfl.nu/0ubs
  Replies (10) Good night (3907) Bad night (1034)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15

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  (336): just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15 http://tfl.nu/aij9
  Replies (4) Good night (1834) Bad night (531)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?

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  (312): I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp? http://tfl.nu/sqhc
  Replies (20) Good night (3454) Bad night (700)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.

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  (814): Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark. http://tfl.nu/ixe0
  Replies (2) Good night (1485) Bad night (512)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.

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  (212): Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals. http://tfl.nu/0i6j
  Replies (2) Good night (1838) Bad night (466)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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  (775): Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure. http://tfl.nu/5ngb
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (269)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I want to be your penis for a week.

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  (913): I want to be your penis for a week. http://tfl.nu/ha1f
  Replies (10) Good night (610) Bad night (251)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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  (613): If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day http://tfl.nu/i6y7
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (256)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.

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  (318): Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana. http://tfl.nu/wjg5
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?

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  (585): Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it? http://tfl.nu/82ze
  Replies (4) Good night (374) Bad night (142)

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