we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on