She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me