Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.

(281): View more from Texas

No. Just liquor. Time's no good.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

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(970): View more from Colorado

the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".

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(563): View more from Iowa

I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.

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(646): View more from New York

Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.

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(260): View more from Indiana

If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.

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