At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after