I hope mine doesn't look like that
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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