I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
