I want to have your abortion
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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