I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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