The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
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Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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