Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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