Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
