What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
