Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
