also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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