It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
