do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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