a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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