dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
