well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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