I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
