I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Sober January is a disaster.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
