I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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