I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
