I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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