Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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