Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
