Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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