Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
