What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize