im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I need to calm my uterus...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
