how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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