u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
