Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
