Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
