I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
