can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
