omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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