she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
