I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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