we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
