that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
