I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
