you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
