Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
