I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize