and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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