smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
