She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
