Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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